Wow- A big giant thank-you!!! I have always said that I am lucky to have such great friends, and it is true. Not only my friends in real life, but all of my internet friends. I don't know how I would get thru all of this with out you. You are all a great group of people that I am blessed by getting to know.So many people responded to my blog outburst. If not on the blog, then by e-mail and other means. I appreciate your support and friendship so much. China adoption brings together alot more than a child and parents. In case your interested I'm feeling a little better today. Not ready for the wait that is still ahead, but better. Thanks again everyone!
Tina

If you read this- it's your lucky day! You get to listen to me whine, and complain, and feel sorry for myself. I kept putting off coming to my blog, because I don't want this to negative. But- I can't stand it anymore. I have no one else to tell. So- I'll my blog and anyone who decides to read it.
I am sick to my stomach over this wait. I don't understand why my journey to have another child has been so difficult and full of pain. I try so hard to be calm and patient, and I can't do it anymore. So- I'm trying to type this with tears running down my face and my bottom lip quivering. I have not cried about any of this since we sent in the application to our agency to start the process. Well- thats been over a year now, I'm really not that much closer now, than I was then.
I will love my child no matter who they are, or where they come from. Which is why I'd like to submit a medical checklist to the SN program. My husband won't have anything to do with it. He won't even look into it. He just keeps saying stuff like why would you ask for a kid with problems? I'll tell you why!I can take wonderful care of a kid with problems, because I will love a kid with problems. All kids have problems! All adults have problems. It makes no difference if they are diagnosed or not!!
I feel that I have let Andy down so much with this whole baby thing.I have let myself down also. I feel like I have no control over any part of it. I can't make my body function properly, I can't speed up wait times in China, I can't pick a child up off the street! I can't make any descions because Andy won't let me. He gets to make all the decsions. It doesn't matter if it is about how much money to spend on something, what child to adopt, or if we get a pet. Everything is up to him. It's driving me crazy. I feel like I'm losing part of me. That I don't want to do. I just want all the hurt to stop.
Please don't get me wrong. I'm married to a great guy. He has his faults, but doesn't everyone. I just can't stand this controlling side of him. This is just a vent, please don't judge him,on me feeling sorry for myself.Sigh---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Maybe next time I'll have better things to say. Right now I'm exhausted, and just drained. Thanks for listening.

I've been doing a little bit of shopping. Not much, but in two days I have bought Addy more than I have since our LID. Old Navy had some stuff on clearence. So- I bought some summer type outfits. Tank tops and little skirts. They were 1.97 a piece. Can't beat that even if she never gets to wear them. I also bought a cute pair of Piglet shoes at Disney Store today. They were also a bargain at $4.00. I feel like it's ok to shop for her if I don't spend a lot. I was just reading Rumor Queen, and it said there is a possibility that the wait could go up to two years. That is really too long.

Celebration of the
Mid-Autumn Festival



Celebration of the
Mid-Autumn Festival
Legendary Origins
A Historical Anecdote
Mooncakes

Also known as the "Full Moon Festival," the Mid-Autumn festival falls on the fifteen day of the eighth lunar month. At this time, the moon's orbit is at its lowest angle to the horizon, making the moon appear brighter and larger than any other time of the year. In the Western tradition, it is also called the Hunter's Moon or Harvest Moon. According to the lunar calendar, it is also the exact middle of autumn (which begins in the seventh month and ends in the ninth).

To the Chinese, this festival is similar to the American Thanksgiving holiday, celebrating a bountiful harvest. Compared to many Chinese festivals that are inundated with vibrant colors and sounds, the Mid-Autumn festival remains more subdued. Traditionally celebrated outdoors under the moonlight, people eat moon cakes and gaze at the moon. In modern times, barbecues with families and friends are also common.


Legendary Origins

Like most Chinese holidays, the mid-autumn festival is rich in oral history and legend. According to stories, Hou Yi was a tyrannical ruler who won the elixir of immortality by shooting 9 suns out of the sky with his bow. But his wife, knowing that the people's lives would remain miserable for all eternity if Hou Yi lived forever, drank the potion. The fluids made her lighter, and she floated up into the moon. Even today, Chinese like to think of the moon as home of Chang E.


A Historical Anecdote

The Mongol Hordes of Ghengis Khan subjugated the Chinese, and established the Yuan Dynasty in the 13th Century. However, many Chinese resented the fact that they were ruled by a foreign regime. In the 14th Century, Liu Bouwen helped plot the overthrow of the Yuan Dynasty by organizing resistance. Secret messages were passed along in mooncakes.


Mooncakes

The ubiquitous fare at any Chinese celebration of the Full Moon festival, mooncakes are a flaked pastry stuffed with a wide variety of fillings. Egg Yolk, lotus seed paste, red bean paste, and coconut are common, but walnuts, dates, and other fillings can be found as well. Most have characters for longevity or harmony inscribed on the top. Special cakes can reach almost one foot in diameter.

Absolutely nothing is new on the adoption front. It's really quiet right now. The rest of life is not! Today we have another Brownie meeting, and I have a lot planned that should help with some of the issues Barb and I dealt with last meeting. Hopefully it will go well. I'm being postive. I wonder if Addy will want to be a Brownie? I wonder if I will be doing this for the next 14 years?!!?
Ivy had a busy week. She had cheerleading Mon. and Tues. and karate on Wed., Brownies today, and tomorrow cheerleading again. Oh ya- and a soccer game on Sat. Fewww!! Glad this week is almost over.
Andys birthday is Saturday, ha ha he will be as old as me! He won't be homes so there is nothing special going on. He has been going on a golf trip the last few years over his birthday.
I'm having Jeanines baby shower on Sun. That should be nice. I'm so glad I decided to have it somewhere besides here. it makes things so much easier. A lot less to clean. My friend Julie is now on bed rest. Sorry Jul~ and let me know if you need anything at all. It sucks now, but will all be worth when you see that little boy.
I'm keeping myself busy with adoption related stuff. One of secret pal swaps I belong to is about to end. I'm trying to think of a creative way to tell her who I am. I have had no luck so far. Anyone have any ideas? I'd love to hear them.
A few of us from S of A are thinking about meeting somewhere soon. It should be fun. I feel so close to many of them, though i have never met them in "real" life. I know it sounds strange, but it really isn't. For we all have one really common bond bringing us together.